Sense of a bullied kid

I would like to share the story of this kid bullied by her elders. Elders who must have lost their sense of adulthood by their childish act of bullying this child.

Anna was born and raised in the Philippines, when her biological parents decided to leave for work abroad Anna was left in the care of her grandparents. I could say that she was very well taken cared of, they were not poor to a certain extent infact her parents could survive even if they cease to work but since philippine culture is very traditional in terms of raising children they decided to earn and support Anna on their own means. Until they decided to migrate in the States for good.

It must have been difficult for Anna and her parents to live apart, all the while they applied for petition so Anna could finally live with them. However we all know that here in the Philippines processing such application could take a while and a lot of patience is required and of course scrutinized legal details before an approval is awarded. Hence the long process took over 8 years.

Now at 8 years old finally Anna's petition to migrate was granted. It is a mix of both sad and joyous news to celebrate upon. An intimate occasion with immediate relatives, family friend, godparents and kiddie friends was set to celebrate advance send off for Anna whose bound to leave by October this year. Her grandparents were ecstatic and anxious at the same time, they tipped and shared the stories of Anna's personal favorites and cute embarassing firsts to the guests. On the background plays an audio visual presentation of her evolving years. She is indeed a great performer very enchanting and talkative and fashionable for her age. She entertained us guests by her talents singing and dancing. Nobody predicted that in about a short moment this cheerful little lady would shift into frustated sullen mood.

Here it goes...

After her number she was asked by this one group of guest in their 30's, maybe they were Anna's extended relatives, to sit and have an interview chat with them (in seldom occasion I've seen Anna this is the first time I chanced upon them). Anna happily obliged. She was panting from her dance number but gamely striked a posed and sit like that of a host and started doing her own thing.

Anna: Bakit nyo po ako tinawag? Ano gagawin natin? (why did you called me? What we will do?)
Guy1: May ibibigay kasi kami sayo pero bago yun kelangan muna ka namin interviewhin. (We will give you something but before that we will ask you a few question first.)
Anna: okay (she smiled and look at her other audience)
Guy1: Ok. welcome to Anna's Talk show! (audience applauded) So anna are you ready to go to the States already?
Anna: of course tito boy! ( she address this guy tito boy like that of a popular showbiz show host here) I'm excited to see my Mama & Papa. They promised me they'll bring me to this huge amusement park there.
Girl1: But you'll have to bring your own stuff there, you'll have no nanny there. You'll do chores and carry your own bags by yourself is that okay with you?
Anna: Thats okay I can do it! ( she proudly answered)
Girl 1: Oh you'll turn your silky hands rough from washing the dishes and laundrying your own clothes, even cook your food you can't be a princess there like you are here. There's no lavish lifestyle there kiddo. (she smirked and look like a bullying dog here while asking Anna.
Anna: silent and nodding her head no.
Guy1: See, Anna you cant live there like you do here, you'll have too much burgers and chocolates but you'll have less time to play coz you have to help your mom with the chores. (the way this guy delivered it convinced me that they're trying to provoke Anna to react negatively.
Anna: turns cheeky red and teary eyed, she looked on the audience as if scanning some people to run to.
Guy2: look! Anna we have presents for you but tell us if you'll enjoy living there even if you dont have your nannies with you, even if you cant play outside on winter, they dont have nice beach there like we have here you cant be Ariel the mermaid anymore (the girl harshly laugh)
Anna: run to her Aunt Fina sobbing, hugged her like she was maltreated and maligned in every frame. While sobbing she managed to utter

THEY'RE BAD!!!!! Her wailings turned her voice hoarse and bad no one can stop her from crying not even her grand parents. Pausing sobs in between she look at me and borrowed my ipod which she usually does when I'm around, I know she'll play either chasing yello orndy crush. Sobbed again while holding my ipod then slowly her sobbing comes to a halt luckily I'm seated next to her Aunt Fina.
---

I sensed the torment this kid has gone through in that very short exchange too much of it confused even consumed her. She is still a child who has nothing hefty to think of but play and yet here are four insensitive adults making her feel as if the world is all about work. Yes later in her life she really has to work but whats with prodding her now? Whats the point?! How bad can you really be huh? The guests chattered as if nothing bad happened but from the look on their faces traces of shock and humiliation grew extensively that they even applauded this four jerky adults for coying Anna for an interview.

The nerve to do that to a kid. They should realize the moment Anna said she was excited and looking forward to explore with her parents they should have restrain insinuating remarks of American Lifestyle for it may ruin her entire perception even anticipation to join her parents. Why is there so much strength and emphasis of doing those chores whats wrong with that? Are they just jealous that finally this kid be at her parents care in another country with greater power and safer grounds and whose community is far more organized sans existence of nannies. If thats the case they have all the reason and more to envy this kid. While she may be learning to live independently on her chores in the USA this four jerk here continue to rot their asses getting simple jobs done by their nannies!

I deeply feel for Anna I myself had been into countless bully attack sometimes of even my immediate relatives. So I know how bad this could really affect a kids perceptiom in life. I don't even need to have a psychology degree to understand that for God's sake its pretty obvious!

I observed Anna after she stopped sobbing, holding my ipod she was just playing there the whole time head down and not even a hint of smiled graced her lips since. She was frustrated from the looks of it. Far from the Anna before the party started she has become silent and disturbed by the end of the party.

This is so heart breaking this scenario continue to linger in my system even after its been a month since it happened.

Hush baby hush hush

Hush baby hush hush
Framed in blue don't be rude
Breathe as thou life demand
Laugh till dawn come undone

Bruise lingers tonight
Cry a sigh run to fly
Tomorrow love begins
So is another eager flight

Hush baby hush hush
Sip if you must
Count thy numbers in trust
A stay not on a hill
Hurry walk like a damn wheel

She loved and drowned
He drank and pout
Hush baby hush hush
Dream withered a reality

Welcome Distance

Last March he departed. He is destined to work somewhere in the middle of a dessert. Isolated and Lonely. I was worried about him, for his safety, for his survival. I was worried of us, the distance and time we would lose apart.

But it seems otherwise.

its not him i'm really worried about its my life without him, could I survive? Could I stand his lessen effort to communicate? Could I wait for another two years of undetermined future for us? Terrified of my own answer I learn how to slowly live with it. On his first weeks on foreign land he constantly keep in touch with me until suddenly his message came from daily to once a week to barely. And so my fear began to grow persistent what if he forgets?

I can't be forever waiting and crying in my desolate room. I have to learn the ropes of this long distance whatever you call it thing. Determined to keep myself back to the norm I spend most of my time lost in front of my laptop browsing. Stalking his fb page for updates but to no avail. Each day passed without signs of him of which surprisingly I didn't find annoying anymore. More like I've gotten used to his absence, with less message which used to infuriate me, that is now lesser than my usual tendencies to check on my phone every hour. I just have no choice but to live with it. As communicating is our only reliable connection from miles apart losing it has been a great deal of issue to me and then just like that I heap yelp and let go. Trusting is always a better option since.

Days turn into weeks to months I barely notice he's been there for a year already. If there is a change brought by our distance is that it made me stand firm on my faith. The only thing that since I hold on to. My strengthen spiritual relationship with God saved me from torment of sadness and weakness. I worked on it until I'm able to stand through sadness brought by being alone and dusted worry thoughts. I realized I already overcome my fear of him away.

Somehow this distance between us became the answer to my nagging questions. I exceeded expectation of my self on his regard. We may be apart and yet it brings us the space we needed to grow separately.

In his absence I found myself. I'm still a work in progress but I know slowly I will find my path and this is the beginning of my way back whole.

The journey begins here

I came here not to impress or to gain followers or whatnot. I came here to express and gain back myself.
Which I lost a long time ago, which now I miss and of which as of this writing I believe adrift some place unknown.

Its this cold fleeting feeling that fuels me to jump off this journey despite someone telling me its not my forte, that writing a piece is really not my thing and yes maybe they're right as I am more happy with my visual artistry. But I need this I need to shell our my broken ribs and start a new.

I need to know if I still could write. I need to re assess myself if I'm indeed back to normal or if I'm changed.
I have nothing else to brag and I have nothing more to lose too so keeping this fear is not an option.

Just jump.

Off to another wonderland.